Silver Rungs
by Stradivari
Summary: [ Psychological] Success. He never tasted failure. Youth did not teach him to fall. Yet nor did he find ever reach his goal for he did not know his desire. [Oneshot] Artemiscentric::Edited


S I L V E R

R U N G S

-Stradivari-

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Ladders. _Noun_; Structure used for climbing which consists of two parallel bars connected by a series of rungs; means by which one moves to a higher level; tear in a stocking (British).

They are usually made out of steel, or some other metal. Some are retractable, folding or simply very long and very heavy. Their rungs are spaced apart and grooved for easy gripping. And some have handles coated with rubber.

It is, like stated in the dictionary, a simple structure used for climbing. But there is an error in the definition. A ladder is also a structure for falling. No matter if they are collapsible or traditional.

When you are young, and small, the ladder seems a long way up, its silvery rungs placed at wide, dangerous levels. But as you grow older, it seems that the ladder will become smaller…less high, and the rungs much more reachable. That is the innocence of youth. For when the rungs grow smaller and closer together, the end seems in sight. And that lets ambitions grow like weeds flourishing in an unkempt yard. Determination will glare down upon the metal, hot and searing like sunlight. And you shall climb, hot, determined, ambitious, and in such youthful foolishness. But you shall not reach the top of this ladder, where the sun shine's at its brightest and the prize glitter's to attract one's attention like a gold wristwatch attracts Keas. You shall fall, and with it, your ambitions, determination and youth.

You shall fall and you shall grow, in every way physically and psychologically. To end up at the start of the ladder, from the very first, silver rung. And you trust your work, your reputation upon such a careless structure. You will climb, step by step, rung by rung.

Such ambitions are not so different from the ones in your foolish youth. You forget that you may fall. You remember only the steps you have taken, in going up. And forget that single step you took, that felled you, like the stone that felled Goliath.

And what of your prize that is waiting, in your minds eye, at the tip of that unimaginably tall pyramid? Is it the ultimate desire of your heart, that however hard you strive towards it, it always will be out of your reach, ever taller into the clouds? Is it heaven? For if the rungs do lead there, is death all you ever strived for, all your youthful foolishness ever led you towards? Death? For is not death down, not up, and you have been led astray like the sons of Adam and the daughters' of Eve?

And if your heart's greatest desire is death, than are you not one of the abnormal suicidal, a great sinner that does not treasure God's gift of life? And shall all sinners receive their honor and desire by being killed? And is death not a punishment? Do we not fear it, and wish for immortal life, thus depriving ourselves from our desires, from ascending those rungs?

Shall we forever be caught between the irony of our hearts and ambitions?

Each silver rung we take, we congratulate ourselves. One more silver rung towards the ultimate goal. But that ambition has a price. But like gold or wealth, we are never satisfied. And what if we reached the top at last, and claim that prize that is our right? For is not death a prize owed to every mortal?

Are we to be satisfied, in death, and ascend no more? Will that final silver rung satisfy our human nature, like no other object can? Can our thirst be quenched by a glass of holy water? Or shall a feast be desired, though no more rungs exist, and we have arrived at the end of our journey?

Or is our journey simply at its middle? What of the descending side of the ladder, its silver rungs just as easy to reach? Is it the path to even greater desires and prizes, are those silver rungs tempting the soul into its black abyss?

For have we not reached our ultimate ambitions? Or are we damned to never claim our prize? For now, we have reached the top; would we not rest forever, knowing that the greatest gift of death is granted onto us? That St. Peter has opened the gates of heaven and we are in the eternal paradise? But the gates close behind you. And is not a paradise supposed to be free? Are we in fact in hell, forever prisoner's in our idle but false fantasies?

If heaven be hell, would hell not be heaven, and would not we strive towards the prize, the ambitions of life, that we have used to climb those ascending silver rungs? Is it always too late for us to realize that there are no ways to retreat in the paths of ambition but to fall?

Is this not all youthful foolishness? Or indeed the greatest of wisdom?

For if we indeed find our fault and descend on the other side of the ladder, one by one, step by step, silver rung by silver rung, would we not find ourselves deprived of the prize we gained by surmounting ambition? Would we not find ourselves stripped away of the gift that has been our right, Death? Is this indeed the cycle, that all desires must be forfeited and that we must start again, by the name of irony until we understand past our mortal bonds? Is this the path of rebirth, that all must take; sinners and saints alike? Are the silver rungs forever leading us, in search of our heart's desires? And is there truly no way to break this ironic cycle except to fail, to fall? And if that is true, why does human nature fear failure like one may fear the dark? Did God create us like this so that no human may ever reach immortal bliss? Was he the only soul which did, and could not forfeit his true nature, thus imprisoning us in our own ambitions?

For as we climb those silver rungs, do we not really know, deep in our souls, our true desires? And can those not be reached by any other way but those silver rungs, climbed by so many souls before you? Is your greatest ambition really your greatest desire?

Or is your greatest desire your greatest downfall?

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**Author's Note: Once again, an open ended passage, though it does imply towards Artemis II as well as First-I'm not sure if you noticed that, but there goes. The rhetorical questioning I feel has been (slightly? Ha, I wish) overused so I may come back and edit this some time.**

**Thanks to White Lily for pointing out my typos. Sigh. They stalk me.**

**Please review.**


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